Why do some sales just fall over? Even when everything seemed to be going so well.
Here’s something I learned about a decade ago that’s stuck with me ever since: every buyer moves through six emotional states before they commit. Whether they’re buying toilet paper, a car, a house, or your service – the same six emotional states apply.
The cool thing is that this isn’t just a sales framework you’ve come across. It’s also a great tool for getting buy-in from your team, pitching an idea, or even reflecting on a conversation that didn’t land the way you hoped.
Here’s the warning: miss one of these states, and the whole thing stalls.
On the flip side: cover all six states, and the other person doesn’t just say yes – they walk away feeling genuinely good about it.
1. Curiosity
One of the biggest pitfalls I see is selling too hard and too fast – giving all the information up front before establishing if the other person is even curious to hear it.
We don’t go through to the end of a sale without first being curious. Something piques our interest and makes us lean in.
Here’s a subtleties of language tip: stop asking “are you interested to hear more?” The word interested is so overused by salespeople that it subconsciously signals “I’m about to be sold to.”
Try this instead: “Are you curious to learn more?” Or “Would you like to explore [abc]?”
Curiosity implies openness without commitment. It might feel a little odd using this word at first – it did for me too – but trust me, it’s worth getting used to.
2. Empowered
This one’s linked to being the decision maker. How many times have you reached the end of a sales conversation thinking everything’s locked in, only to hear “I’ll just need to check with my business partner” or “let me run this past the board”?
Early in your discovery process, simply ask: “Are you the decision maker, or is there anyone else who needs to be involved?” It’s too easy to forget to ask this question. But as we’ve all learnt at one time or another, finding this out early makes everything smoother at the other end.
3. Trust and Possibility
This is a double whammy – and it’s where most of your time should be spent.
Trust: do they trust the person or brand selling to them?
Possibility: can they see all the ways your product or service will help them?
This is where effective questioning lives. Uncover the real pain point, the real want. If you spend enough time here building trust and showing possibility, you’ll find the rest of the states fall into place alot more easily.
4. Urgency
Okay, this is where most lost sales have the biggest opportunity to be saved.
You’ve asked the right questions. You’ve uncovered the possibilities. You’ve built trust. Then you rush into presenting a solution – without checking how motivated the person is in taking action right now (it’s easy to assume instead of temperature checking).
You know the feeling – you send a proposal, everything seemed to land and then … crickets.
The fix is, before presenting your solution, ask: “Why is now the right time for you to get started with this?”
If there’s no real urgency, hold off on presenting until they’re genuinely ready.
5. Value
Once urgency is uncovered, the other person needs to see and feel real value in what they’re investing their time and money into. Without a feeling of, there’s no green light.
It’s never about price, it’s always about value!
6. Certainty
Once you get the yes on value, it’s tempting to think the work is done. But there’s one final state to close the loop – certainty.
What do you do at the end of the conversation to fulfil this? Some ideas to get you started:
- Send a confirmation
- Book the next meeting on the spot
- Post a welcome pack with photos of the team who’ll support them
Covering off all six states, means you don’t just get a yes. You build rapport, trust and have your client walking away feeling truly certain about the decision they’ve made!
Find the Gap
Think about a sale or a conversation recently that didn’t go the way you wanted. Run it through these six checkpoints:
- Did you create curiosity at first?
- Did you confirm they were the decision maker?
- Did you take the time to build trust and possibility?
- Did you uncover their sense of urgency?
- Did they see value in what you put forward?
- Did you close it out with detailed next steps to give them certainty in the decision they made?
Somewhere in there is the gap. Have some fun with it – take it lightly, and see what you notice.
Want more tips? Connect with me on Linkedin and have a listen to the Smart business Growth Podcast below.
🎤 Listen on Spotify Podcast
📺 Watch on my new YouTube channel